HEATHERLEE CHAN
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • SHOP
    • Categories
    • Art Prints
    • Amazon
    • Fabric Collections
    • Originals
  • Licensing
  • ARCHIVE
    • Watercolors >
      • Ladies + Friendship
      • Floral
      • Children
      • Landscape + Nature
    • Publishing
  • Contact

Love and Life, I am Here

7/20/2016

6 Comments

 
Picture
Oh, I have learned many things this year and months past. ​
read more
 
To surrender
To accept what is.
To let go.
To keep a light of hope in my heart.
To have faith.

And my proudest lesson?
        To move past Sorrow. 


In order to do this I had to acknowledge that there was a possibility that life ahead of me could be beautiful.
 

I could sit beside Sorrow. Sleep with it. Cry with it in my car. Lay on the sidewalk and let it wash over me. It planted a seed in me and it grew and grew and grew. I could have let it inhabit me forever.

I never wanted it to live in me or around me.
But it is a price you will inevitably pay if you love.
​Sorrow stayed and would not leave till I learned from it. It is a contrary relationship—because while it took me to the deepest depths of sadness it taught me truths that I could only learn from it alone.

When I learned what I needed to it was time to release it from my soul.
                                     Its time was up.
And even though I know it will visit me again in my life, for now it is time for it to leave. 

The final step to saying goodbye? I had to start imagining a life where I was ALIVE. 
 


Death taught me something wonderful:
It said, "Do not take Life so seriously."


I thought about it.
I asked myself---in life what is the worst that could happen?

I could die. They could die. 


Death, you don’t scare me anymore.
You are an illusion.

But Sorrow, you are real. You are my teacher. And as much pain as you have made me feel, I have profound gratitude for the lessons you taught me. 

      Sorrow,
    because of
                you
           this is what
                       I know
               and how I will live: 
 
I will play. I will risk colds to jump in rain and puddles with my children. I will dance in a sparkling dress, with sequin shoes, and a glitter belt. 

I will know my worth. I will order what I really want on a menu, not just the cheapest thing. I will not settle, because magic is real. And I am worthy of magic. 

I will be authentic. That means being a truth teller: pouring my heart out on a bright screen or white cold pressed paper. Most of all that means listening to my heart. 

I will put myself in new situations. I can, have, and will--drive further than I’ve ever gone alone before, sail high above sparkling waters, fly to foreign lands, and so much more.

I will be vulnerable and open to the rebirth of a new life.

I will live for today, because that is all I have. I am promised nothing more.

I will say yes to love. No matter what loss has occurred death and endings are only illusions. There is life after death and love after loss. Love is always worth it. 
 

I am ready now.

​ 
Love and Life, I am here. 
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
6 Comments
Jenny
7/23/2016 11:03:33 pm

Heatherlee...what a hard and challenging journey it has been for you. My heart ached alongside yours and now I rejoice with you here. Matt LOVED life and people....and I know he is so happy to see you in this new place. We all are. He radiated so much joy and marching forward basking in that glow to take on whatever beautiful adventure comes your way is only fitting....can't wait to see your new adventure unfold.

Reply
Diane Glass
7/24/2016 01:43:38 am

Darling Heatherlee, I have wept for you, prayed for you, was devastated for you. You have been immensely brave and incredibly open with your journey. I feel like I've traveled each step of your gravel road with you, watched you as you've moved forward, baby step by baby step. My dear Heatherlee, you've accepted the loss of your true love. You've embraced it. And now, precious one, you've grown new wings to fly again, to heights you've never known before! Bless your beautiful heart for loving and protecting your babies so deeply, for teaching them by your example that there is life after loss, love and joy after deep sorrow. My heart is delighted for you, and I'm so very proud of you! I will be praying for you and watching with gentle anticipation as your journey continues and unfolds new and beautiful paths in Life! Love, ~Diane 💜

Reply
Jody howells
7/24/2016 02:58:07 pm

Imagine. Me. A 50 something. Gleaning wisdom from you, Heatherlee. A beautiful, young,30 something. Thank you. Love you. Love your kids. Love Matt

Reply
Beverly
9/5/2016 11:00:28 pm

Dear Heatherlee, Until this evening I didn't know of you or your family and anything of your story.
Over & over I've heard all my life how God moves in mysterious ways. Sometimes, it seems more random to me until I'm reading your blog entry with tears coursing down my face.
It doesn't matter that a few hours ago I was absently clicking through FB & stopped to look at photo, which led to another & another, which led to a comment about a youth minister here in Texas moved to Kansas, so clicked there & read a post, really a tribute to his dear friend, your late husband. Then I found myself here, reading your heart, your vibrance and your hope for all the tomorrows and the love to be found there too.
I won't clutter this up with even more words, I'm no where near as eloquent and filled with the joy & expectancy for what the future holds as you.
The Lord met me in the midst of your words & I know that the greif will ease, I just wasn't ready for more.
Thank you for sharing and allowing God to work through you. You are a beautiful & gifted soul inside & out.

Reply
Leah
11/21/2016 11:37:41 pm

I am still so moved by your words and your heart. I love your strength and heart. There truly could have only been the perfect match for Matt in you. You amaze me. Thank you for sharing your heart with us all.

Reply
Ricardo Raymond link
11/5/2022 07:30:17 am

Situation yet choice local risk family cultural. Administration laugh study may start.
Piece seven admit although even land.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture

    Heatherlee 

    I am a watercolor artist located in Southern California.

    On my blog I share paintings I am working on and my life.

    All images and content Copyright
    ©2023 Heatherlee Chan.
     

    Picture
    Top Blog Post
    Picture
    Best Selling Art Print

    Subscribe to our mailing list

    * indicates required

    Categories

    All
    Even More Personal!
    Fashion
    Freebies
    Humor
    Inspired By Others
    Loss Of A Loved One
    My Art
    My Family
    My Home
    Personal
    Photography
    Tips And Tutorials

    RSS Feed


​H O M E        A B O U T        B L O G        S H O P        C O N T A C T

​All images Copyright © 2023 Heatherlee Chan. 
Please do not use without permission.
  • Home
  • About
  • Blog
  • SHOP
    • Categories
    • Art Prints
    • Amazon
    • Fabric Collections
    • Originals
  • Licensing
  • ARCHIVE
    • Watercolors >
      • Ladies + Friendship
      • Floral
      • Children
      • Landscape + Nature
    • Publishing
  • Contact